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He Dumped Me, Now What?

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He Dumped Me, Now What?

Going through a break-up can be devastating, especially if you are the one being dumped. However, it is not the end of the world. I promise, it isn't. It only feels like the worst day of your life. It's okay to cry, it's okay to be angry, it's okay to not want to talk about it...but it's only okay for you to do any of those things for a short period of time. At some point you have to pick yourself up and dust yourself off. The sooner the better. Below are 5 steps to getting over him.

  • Have one last good cry, go ahead do it, cry already, what are you waiting for. You know you want to. Set a timer and give yourself 5 minutes to cry. Once that 5 minutes is up, wash your face and move on to step 2.

  • Remove the emotion and take a moment to evaluate what really happened. Ask yourself the following questions:  
       
          * Was he really worth my time?

          * Did he treat me like I deserved to be
             treated?
          
          * Is he someone I should have been dating 
             in the first place?
           
          * Did he line up with the values I have set 
             for my life?
            
          * Did I give him too much power over me? 
             (ex. Spending too much time on the phone 
             or together, having sex with him, 
             ditching my friends to be with him, etc.)
            
          * Am I really mad because he dumped me or 
            am I more concerned about what my friends
            will think?


  • After evaluating the situation make a list of lessons you've learned from the relationship. Below are some examples:
                
          * I need to put a higher value on myself
     
          * I need to be more careful with my heart
  
          * I will not have sex with a guy just because 
             he says he loves me
              
          * I got way too serious too fast

          * I should have listened to my mother when 
             she said he was not good for me 
         
  • Now that you have taken the time to evaluate the situation, it's time to move forward. This is the time where you begin to focus on the things that make you happy. Take on a new hobby, try out for a new sport, join a social club or a teen Bible study. You have spent enough time thinking about him, now it's time to focus on what's really important...YOU!!!

  • This is the final and most important tip...DO NOT...REPEAT, DO NOT Keep texting him, calling him, crying over him. This is unproductive behavior and it will only ruin your self-esteem. Also, this is not the time to get into another relationship, especially not to make him jealous...BAD IDEA. Give yourself time to breathe and recover. Break-ups are difficult but they are a part of life. You have to keep it moving. I promise, you will love again, this is not the end of the world. You are beautiful, you are incredible, you are worthy of healthy and happy relationships..Don't ever forget that.


Love,

Ms.Kim

 

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